You’re Not Behind

One of the common mindsets or negative soundtracks that plays in many of our heads is this idea of, “I’m behind.” We feel like we should be farther along as writers, as Christians, or as whatever it is we’re trying to be or do.

It shows itself in questions such as…

“Shouldn’t I be more spiritually mature by now?”

“Am I too old to write a book?”

“Is it too late?”

“Shouldn’t my platform be bigger by now?”

Looking at this mindset, I see three issues at play: our identity and image of ourselves, our value system, and our comparison to others. Let’s unpack those.

Identity and Image

What is our mental image of a writer or a mature Christian? With imposter syndrome, we have an idea in our heads of what a writer is like, and we don’t match that idea. As a result, we feel like a fake. When we feel behind, we have a mental image of what the correct timeline is for achieving a particular definition of success. We don’t feel like we’re meeting that timeline and are therefore behind.

Let’s look at our walks with God first. I’m 51. I didn’t grow up in a Christian family, but I gave my life to Jesus when I was 13. Because I’ve been walking with Jesus for many years, I feel like I *should* have the Christian life figured out by now. When I struggle with doubts and uncertainties, or feel like I don’t have all the answers, I wonder why.

But if I step back and look at it objectively, it’s easier to see the holes in this line of thinking.

- Do I expect to be perfect and sinless at this point? That’s impossible and unbiblical. We never reach sinless perfection this side of eternity. 1 John 1:8 says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”

- God graciously does not reveal all of our shortcomings to us all at once. It’s a journey, and it will be until we are with Him face to face.

- The challenges I face now in this phase of life are different than the ones I faced 10-20 years ago. Different challenges bring different lessons, different struggles, and different areas of growth.

- I don’t see anywhere in Scripture where there’s a timeline on becoming whole and complete.

As writers, there is no timeline, either. If you’ve been writing for a while, it can feel like you should be farther along in the process. Where does that idea come from? Agents and publishers don’t ask for your age as a prerequisite for publication. There is no behind—just do what’s next. Maybe you are where you are in the process because you were prioritizing other important things in your life.

Much of this is rooted in our expectations. Do you have a picture in your head of how long it takes to “arrive” as a Christian or to be traditionally published as an author? Where does that picture come from? Our expectations are frequently unrealistic and not based in reality. Many times, we see someone’s success but have no idea how many years of work behind the scenes it took for them to get there.

Faulty value system

God values how we use what He’s given, not how much we accomplish or how “far along” we are.

We’re surrounded constantly by the world’s benchmarks for value and success. Work quickly, succeed on a large scale in a short amount of time! Pursue your goals relentlessly! However, those are not God’s benchmarks. “Well done, good and faithful servant” is what we hear when we have been faithful in investing what we’ve been given in a way that glorifies Him. I feel like I return to the parable of the talents in Matthew 25 over and over, but what a reassuring message! Regardless of the amount that each servant was given, they were praised for their faithful investment, not the size of the return. God doesn’t value speed and output. He values our investment of our gifts to serve others for His glory.

Comparison

Either we compare ourselves to others we know, or we’re comparing ourselves to an image in our minds of where we think we should be. We’re not confident of where we stand in life or how we’re doing, so we look to external people and our own manufactured images as benchmarks by which to measure our progress. Regardless of which one we’re using, it’s not an accurate way to determine how we’re doing.

God has His own timeline for us. We’re not too late. We’re not behind. We don’t need to keep up with anyone else. We’re on the journey we’re on.

You’re doing just fine.

Whichever of these issues is the biggest problem for you, ask God to encourage you with how He views you and where you are on the journey. Don’t look to outside sources for your validation. Look to His word and what is true. You’re not behind.

If you’d like to learn more about the faulty, unbiblical mindsets that Christian writers wrestle with, take a look at the “Christian Writers’ Mindset Makeover”. You’ll learn about the grain of truth that hides in each mindset and how that truth gets twisted into a lie. I also provide the antidote for that lie and journaling prompts to help you sort through how it may be holding you back.